she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have post one night stand depression
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
