I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
