i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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