My hair reeks of homosexuality.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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