Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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