Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
