i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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