Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
