You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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