I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
