? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
