Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
