So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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