my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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