ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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