saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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