Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
