White coat. Heels.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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