i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
