I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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