No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
