I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
