I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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