its not stalking. its research.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
