Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
