The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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