I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize