It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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