so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
