I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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