ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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