I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
