You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
