i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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