if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
