did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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