Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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