Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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