u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
