Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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