I don't think brook has ever known best
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
