Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
