shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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