Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
thus making me awesome and them whores
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
