I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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