Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
