loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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