And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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