I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
