Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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