he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
