Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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