She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
