Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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