I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
