I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
