Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
