Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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