Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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