Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i believe in u and ur pee
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
